Same-sex Couples With Children Show Dramatic Increase

According to the latest data released by the U.S. Census Bureau, a startling picture of California is unveiled. The number of hetero married couples raising kids has declined 10% over the last ten years while currently holding at 23%. Over a quarter of heterosexual married households are without a child and yet nearly a quarter of same-sex couples have kids in their households!

The Census found that 125,515 gay and lesbian couples statewide and more than 34,000 same-sex couples are living in married or unmarried partnerships in the Bay Area. With this release, California had 36% increases on the number of same-sex couples between 2000 and 2010.

Specifically, Bay Area has about 30% of California's same-sex households though it represents only 20% of the state's population.

The figures also reveal that 53% of the 125,515 same-sex couples are lesbian households while 47% are gay couples in the State. Although Oakland has been increasingly seen as the lesbian capital of the world, San Francisco remained as the largest concentrated residence for both lesbians and gays.

Another interesting fact is that lesbian couples are more likely to have children according to the report. Across the Bay Area, more than 8,600 lesbian households are raising children, compared to fewer than 4,000 gay couples.

The U.S. saw 8% of same-sex couples reported having an adopted child in their household nationwide in 2000 but in 2010, so far it has jumped to approximately 19% of couples. As the count so far is based on only seven states reported, it is evident that the number of same-sex couples raising children is dramatically on the increase.

Did Jesus Experience a Same-Sex Relationship?

New York’s decision to legally recognize same-sex marriage may be the most widely discussed issue regarding homosexuality this past month, but it’s certainly not the most controversial. Out Smart Magazine, which describes itself as “Houston’s gay, lesbian, bi and trans magazine” recently published an interesting interview with Catholic author and psychologist, G.C. Bryan. Here is a portion of the article:

“For some people, the Bible is clear: Jesus had a gay partner. For generations, scholars have debated the meaning of the line in the Gospel of John (13:23), which states: ‘Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.’ While most believe it refers to a platonic love between Jesus’ follower and cousin, John, others see the love between the men as a romantic partnership.

G.C. Bryan, a Catholic, practicing psychologist, and former school principal, has used this and other verses from the Bible to assemble a story about the relationship between Jesus and John in his book, The Purple Triangle.

'With my understanding of scripture, and by talking to spiritual people, it became very clear to me that Jesus was human, and that many people put him on a pedestal and treated him like a god,' he said.

The story of Jesus and John revealed in the scriptures is far from being a sordid tale of lust and sin; in fact, Bryan sees it as a positive example of a same-sex relationship. With some encouragement, he decided to release the book.

‘I have spoken with spiritual friends, Buddhists, and Catholic priests who feel it’s important to put the story out so there’s a broader interpretation of Jesus [that leaves open the possibility] that he could have been gay, and could have had a partner. That leads to the next step that we’re all sons and daughters of God, without exception,’” said Bryan (Out Smart Magazine.Com, 6-9-11).

Probably not too many people have heard of G.C. Bryan, but many will recall a 2010 statement made by a much more familiar pop figure, Elton John:

"I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don't know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you're as good as dead" (Parade Magazine, On Line Edition, 2-18-10).

Of course, any person with a conscience should be in sympathetic agreement with at least a good deal of his statement. Elton John speaks accurately about the Middle East. He is also correct in describing Jesus’ character and willingness to forgive. As for Jesus being a “gay man,” at least Elton admitted to the mere expression of an opinion. Unfortunately his opinion displays complete unfamiliarity with Scripture, despite an appreciation for the cross.

Neither Elton John nor G.C. Bryan is the first to talk of Jesus that way. People have been either hinting at or dogmatically stating Jesus’ “same-sex tendency" for years, and a simple Google Search will showcase as many articles as one can possibly be searching for.

Just to break the suspense early on: Nowhere in the Bible does it teach that Jesus was of same-sex persuasion. Jesus was not gay; neither did He promote a homosexual lifestyle. Would He have shown compassion to homosexuals? Certainly. There are abundant examples of Jesus treating with compassion people who felt like outcasts from society, people lonely and disenfranchised. Jesus also offered forgiveness to anyone willing to turn from sin. But He was not gay.

“How can you say that? Jesus was silent on the whole subject, so how do you know what He felt about same-sex marriage or attraction?”

It’s true that our gospel accounts do not record Jesus speaking about homosexuality directly. But Jesus did confirm the divine inspiration of the Jewish Holy Scriptures (referred to in those days as The Law and The Prophets) and insisted that the Israelites continue to honor God’s Law.

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 5:17-20).

Since Jesus was authenticating the entire law, His authentication included the specific law about homosexuality:

“‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable” (Lev 18:22).

Certainly a great debate exists in our country on the cause of same-sex persuasion, whether it is a learned behavior, a genetic predisposition, or a state for which there may be a variety of causes, genetic and psychological alike. Important as such a discussion may be, the purpose of this present article is merely to examine the teaching of Scripture. I respect those who do not believe in the Bible. It is only when somebody asserts that the Bible is saying something it does not actually say that I take issue, and these Scriptures (both Old and New Testaments) are anything but silent on the subject of sexuality.

Moving on to the New Testament, Paul, while also preaching forgiveness for a whole litany of sins, did include homosexuality on his list. Before the discussion of mercy, he described the practice itself.

“Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion” (Rom 1:26-27).

“Wait a minute! Should we trust Paul’s words? Paul wasn’t one of the original disciples of Jesus.”

No he was not, but Paul encountered the resurrected Christ later on (Acts 9). True, the original disciples were given special authority by Jesus (John 20:22-23). But keep in mind that one of these disciples, Peter, later authenticated the words of Paul, even to the point of equating Paul’s letters with Scripture!

“Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction” (2 Peter 3:15-16).

In summary, although Jesus did not directly comment on homosexuality, He did refer to the practice indirectly by speaking of the entire Law of Moses as a revelation from God. And Paul (authenticated by Jesus’ disciple Peter) directly addressed the subject.

“Then what about the other part of this discussion? Why was John called ‘the disciple whom Jesus loved’?”

There were several Greek words for love during the New Testament era. The word for sexual love was eros from which we get the English word, erotic. Eros was not used of Jesus and John. Instead, the word in John 13:23 was agapao, a kind of love that went beyond emotion and stressed action, often sacrificial action, i.e., loving a person enough to lay down your life for him or her. This is not a sexual word nor even a romantic word. Indeed, it is the same word used of God in John 3:16 where the Gospel writer talks about God loving the entire world.

Having said all this, in our zeal to re-clarify the Bible’s standard about homosexuality, let us keep in mind that the primary message of the New Testament is not one of condemnation but rather forgiveness. God may not like the practice of homosexuality, but He loves homosexuals. He loves everybody and people who feel same-sex attraction are no more separated from God than anyone else. We are all guilty of sin and all of us experience impulses that we can choose to give in to or restrain. Yes, people are commanded to repent, but every human being is guilty of something and even when we turn to Jesus, we do so only by the mercy and help of God’s Spirit. There is no room for arrogance or looking down upon another’s struggle.

Chicago Cubs Go to Bat for Kids' Homosexuality

The perennial also-ran Chicago Cubs have created a video encouraging homosexuality in kids, telling viewers, "The Chicago Cubs celebrate you for who you are, gay or straight."

The video features co-owner Laura Ricketts, a lesbian; manager Mike Quade; pitcher Ryan Dempster; first-base coach Bob Dernier; and players Marlon Byrd and Darwin Barney.

According to the Chicago Tribune, the Cubs are the second Major League Baseball team to jump on the bandwagon of a campaign called "It Gets Better," following the San Francisco Giants.

Critics, however, say they wonder just where the team and its players will be for those who pursue a homosexual lifestyle and later develop one of the consequences, such as related health problems of HIV or AIDS.

Peter LaBarbera, president of the ministry Americans for Truth, told WND the slogan may sound nice, but it "doesn't match the reality."

"It doesn't get better. … There are not just the physical complications. We can't ignore the biblical reality that we're dealing with eternal judgment," he said.

"Whether they like it or not, professional athletes are role models for young men and now many young women. They basically are using that stature to encourage kids to practice an immoral and destructive behavior."

He said the other complications are that baseball, previously associated with wholesomeness and competition, now is "rushing headlong into the embrace of immorality."

"Think of all these kids, with their sports heroes telling them it's okay to be gay, with no connection to the reality. They're all caught up in pretend propaganda that has no relationship to the lifestyle," said LaBarbera, whose ministry is in the Chicago area.

WND reported just days ago on the estimated 25 million lives lost as a result of the complications of the homosexual lifestyle.

The report includes information from the International Journal of Epidemiology that estimated from a review of the "gay" population of Vancouver, B.C., that HIV/AIDS costs homosexuals up to 20 years of their lives on average.

The U.S. government is spending, according to a Congressional Research Services report to Congress, in the range of $20 billion a year for treatment and research, with a small fraction for prevention that, analysts explain, includes testing but largely doesn't address the behavior itself.

That's even though when another threat to lives and livelihood – cigarettes – was suspected of imposing such a cost, Washington mandated exhaustive studies, imposed draconian advertising limits, demanded warning labels and enacted outright bans in many circumstances. The studies said the behavior, smoking, could be changed.

"It's a public health question," LaBarbera said. "We've got to get beyond the gay politics and get back to the behaviors. We know there are high risks."

"It doesn't get better. … There are not just the physical complications. We can't ignore the biblical reality that we're dealing with eternal judgment," he said.

The Cubs' video:

Quade: "The Chicago Cubs celebrate you for who you are gay or straight."

Then Ricketts promises, "It does get better."

LaBarbara said he's already heard complaints about the campaign from traditional families, who plan to no longer patronize the Cubs.

Major League Baseball previously has dealt with a number of protests over the "gay days" promotions held by some teams, especially when they have coincided with special "family days" or "kids days."

Say "Sorry" for Your Salary
By Terry Angel Mason

While it is commendable for anyone to apologize for making a mistake — something that we all are prone to do at some point in our lives — a simple apology does not always mend broken fences or undo the horrific damage done to others.

Four years ago, Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington was fired from the hit ABC series after using a homophobic slur during an off-camera altercation with costar Patrick Dempsey. A few months ago, Kobe Bryant hurled a gay slur at NBA referee Bennie Adams without conscience or remorse because he wanted to strike an emotional chord that would reverberate through the man’s psyche. It was crystal clear that the Lakers star meant to hurt the referee in the worst possible way, and that was to assassinate his character publicly and demean his manhood.

Then, in an almost nightmarish scene captured on instant replay (and unfortunately viewed by millions), another NBA player, Bulls center Joakim Noah, catapulted the same gay slur with the same intent at a fan heckling him from the stands, calling him what he surmised was the worst thing any man could ever be called: a “fucking faggot!” Noah still succumbed to his homophobic preconditioning, even in the aftermath of Kobe’s stupid mistake, costing both players collectively more than $150,000 in penalties, to the dismay of team owners.

Now, even before the dust could settle on the NBA courts from both of these unfortunate incidents, Tracy Morgan, a renowned comedian and actor, did what I consider the ultimate while performing a monologue in Nashville at the Ryman Auditorium. He stated that if his son was gay, he would “pull out a knife and stab that little [n word] to death.” Other serious and inflammatory remarks followed.

In fact, the monologue was so offensive and riddled with such extreme language about gays and lesbians that some people in the audience got up and left. He responded to their disapproval by stating that he didn’t care if gay people were offended because "if they can take a fucking dick up their ass ... they can take a fucking joke..” Please, someone remind Mr. Morgan that it’s these kinds of harmful jokes that result in the suicides of countless LGBT youths annually. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control issued a report this month warning that gay youths are at increased risk for suicide, drug use, and other negative outcomes because of the unaccepting environments they must endure.

Thankfully, there is no video of Morgan making these derogatory comments, but there are plenty of eyewitnesses whom have boldly come forth to confirm Morgan’s comments, while expressing their outrage and vehement disapproval.

Now, like Bryant and Noah, the embattled 30 Rock star and his publicist are doing everything humanly possible to erase the hate and rescue his public persona by crafting a tear-jerking, heart-wrenching apology similar to Bryant’s and Noah’s. In penance, Morgan met with parents of young LGBT adults who committed suicide, with some LGBT people who were seriously hurt and physically abused by homophobic offenders, and with teens who have been rejected by parents because of their sexual orientation.

In the wake of the tragic teen suicides resulting from intolerance of same-gender-loving people in the political and religious arenas, it is becoming fashionable by Hollywood publicists, campaign managers, actors, and renowned athletes to mend fences quickly as a survival tactic. But as a student of the Bible, I have come to understand that true repentance is more than expressing what appears to be a heartfelt apology. True repentance is also taking full responsibility for the damage, adopting a new attitude and new behavior, and even being willing to pay restitution to the victim.

"I didn't know; I didn't mean it," Morgan said in his official apology before cameras Tuesday, in a news conference arranged by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. "I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe that anyone should be bullied or just made to feel bad about who they are. I totally feel that in my heart."

Morgan has apologized and is going to all of these meetings and jumping through whatever hoops are held out by GLAAD and other gay rights groups, all to demonstrate his sincere remorse. But the meetings were arranged and agreed to only after Morgan was told that his apology was not enough to undo his catastrophic actions.

Friends, here is the question that we all need to be asking ourselves: Would Morgan, Bryant, or Noah have come to the realization on their own that they had grossly offended so many people and possibly placed the lives of countless LGBT youths in jeopardy all over the world had not organizations like GLAAD, Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, the Human Rights Campaign, and many others condemned and reprimanded them publicly for making such statements? Would they have so willingly yielded to the powers that be if the possibility of boycotts and loss of jobs and loss of support or revenue had not loomed over their heads?

All three of these megastars have consented to work with gay rights organizations in various ways, with some creating public service announcements or doing other community service that will paint them in a more positive light. If these tasks are done from the heart, then I am somewhat relieved. But if they are done simply because these individuals fear losing their prominence, position, or lucrative paychecks, then I must call it what it is — a media-orchestrated farce.

Simply to say “I’m sorry” because celebrities fear losing high-paying positions that garner them fame and fortune, allowing them to live “the good life” and keeping them in the good graces of the public’s eye, is hypocritical (at best) if the person still harbors deep-rooted homophobia and hatred.

Those who impress me are not the athletes or actors who initiate damage control to save their careers, but the ones who do the “damage control” to make sure these unfortunate incidents never happen. If anyone is to be commended and praised, it is the NBA athletes like Grant Hill and Jared Dudley of the Phoenix Suns, who have never uttered any of these homophobic slurs and have teamed up with organizations like the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network to discourage bullying and homophobia in sports and in our communities.

Black men were once marginalized politically, physically, and emotionally by racist people and racist political institutions. To endure and persevere, black men taught and conditioned themselves not to show any kind of weakness. Black men had to portray themselves as strong as steel and hard as granite. Anything less was "soft,” "weak," or "womanish." Thus began the practice of demeaning and insulting a black man's manhood with the use of homophobic slurs. To be called a "faggot" or any similar slur meant that not only were you a failure as a man but you were a failure to your race as well.

Black men will never be free until we realize that true masculine strength is defined as a set of values that recognizes and honors diversity in others — including sexual expression. Real men like Hill and Dudley hold these values and are not afraid to express them.

Why I Don't Celebrate Gay Pride
By Bre DeGrant

I've always been a lesbian. Why should I act like it's an accomplishment?

I've always felt conflicted about the idea of "gay pride." The standard definition of pride is "a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements."

Being gay is something else. I didn't "become" a lesbian; it's not some goal that I achieved. I've known I was attracted to other women since the moment I hit puberty. The only difference, compared to the experience of my heterosexual peers, was that I found myself as the one girl who liked other girls when every girl I knew liked boys. This made me question my feelings and led to years of confusion because, like every adolescent, I wanted to be like everyone else. But I never did anything to become a lesbian. I just always was.

So why do my fellow gays gather each June to parade through the streets singing YMCA on floats filled with women dressed in chaps and men dressed as Cher to celebrate something they couldn't help being in the first place?

I understand that oppressed minorities need a community to feel acceptance until they become integrated into the rest of society. But as we grow more and more accepted, as we evolve from a psychiatric case to just another person, do we still need to actively disassociate ourselves from mainstream society and our straight counterparts? Will we still need gathering places when the rest of our peers accept us in nongay bars, nongay community and nongay houses of worship?

I, for one, can say I'm really not proud to be gay. I'm not proud to be in a gay community. I'm more proud that I survived abuse as a child, that I'm on the Dean's List, and that I'm on track for my nursing degree after years of indecision. Basically, I'm proud of the things I've accomplished.

I don't want to be known as the gay girl. I want to be known for all of the things I am instead of just one of the things I happen to be. My entire personality doesn't revolve around being a lesbian.

But until we are fully accepted, as long as we're bullied and denied rights, we probably will continue to seek solace in those spaces and to create our own communities that encompass so much of our lives. The same is true of any marginalized group. But I hope that my children will grow up in a world where gays are fully accepted into the mainstream.

I guess, for now, Gay Pride Month has to exist, if for no other reason than to appreciate the many people who have worked and continue to work to make the world a safer place for my younger generation of gays. It typically doesn't do a disservice to our communities to have our places, our days, our month, or even our parades. Although, I can say too many half-naked Bears on Bikes could scar anyone hoping for a simple, family-friendly parade.

Let's Go Travel Guides' Top Five European Pride Festivals

In honor of National Pride Month, Let's Go Travel Guides recently released in-depth travel content specifically devoted to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) travelers. This content is available now on the Let's Go website. Let's Go is also offering readers a list of their picks for the best of European gay pride celebrations from Amsterdam to Rome.

The following list will help travelers decide what European pride festivals they won't want to miss this summer:

1. Amsterdam
The Red Light District doesn't hold a candle to the debauchery that is the Amsterdam Pride Festival. G, L, B, T, whatever you are, there's a party going on during the festival that celebrates every person flying under the rainbow flag. The fun doesn't start until the first week of August, so it's the perfect way to wrap-up a summer spent traveling through Europe.

2. Madrid
Leave it to the Spain to have a pre-pride party, pride party, and a pride after party. Infinita Gay Week starts toward the end of June with dance parties at all of Madrid's hottest clubs. Pride proper is July 1st thru July 3rd, and features the festive parade, ending with after-parties that rage well into the next day. Most partygoers indulge in an extended siesta to recover.

3. Berlin
Stolz ist höchste. Pride is supreme-that's the feeling anyone traveling to Berlin might have if visiting during the second half of June. It can be a zoo (quite literally, as Zoo Berlin hosts a gay night with a swing dance party during the event). In addition, the Schöneberg district doesn't disappoint with dancing in the streets throughout the festival.

4. Rome
With scores of GLBT fans, it only seems fitting that Lady Gaga performed at the closing ceremonies for Rome Pride. Rome has a complicated history with gay rights (it's proximity to the Vatican doesn't help), but things are becoming more and more liberal. Gaga's performance came at the end of a week of club parties and parades.

5. London
Last on this list, but not in our hearts, London is a Mecca for pride festivals. The calendar of events is measured in weeks, not days, and it's jam-packed with fun. This year, Soho will come alive with an open-air dance floor, and in 2012, London will host the third World Pride event just before the Olympic Games held July 27th thru Aug 12th.

For more information, tips, and advice on GLBT travel, visit the Let's Go website.

About Let's Go, Inc.
Let's Go publishes the world's favorite student travel guides written entirely by college undergraduates. With pen and notebook in hand, and a few changes of underwear stuffed in their backpacks, Let's Go student researchers go across continents, through time zones, and above expectations to seek out the best travel experiences. Let's Go has been on the road for 50 years and counting; and on a mission to provide readers with sharp, fresh coverage and socially responsible opportunities to go beyond tourism.

Google Hides Their Gay Pride Doodle

Everyone loves a good Google doodle. Whether it is for something major like Christmas or trivial like Pacman's 30th anniversary, the Google doodle has been an everchanging and entertaining aspect to the search engine. That's what makes ignoring of Gay Pride month (and the subsequent half way doodle posted recently) all the more disconcerting.

In all of the Google doodles esteemed history. there has not been one for Pride. Currently, the only recognition the gay community receives from the doodle is when a "Pride related" term is searched, in which case a little rainbow pops up next to the search bar.

"During the month of June, Google is celebrating lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Pride," the company said in an e-mail to CNN. "For some Pride-related search queries, we are showing a rainbow at the end of the search bar."

The site offered little specific reason for not including a Gay Pride doodle saying in a statement, "We enjoy celebrating holidays and special events at Google. As you may imagine, it's difficult for us to choose which events to celebrate on our site, and have a long list of those we'd like to celebrate in the future."

The Gay Community is criticizing the site for not including a doodle to honor the month.

According to Nicholas Jackson's writing on "The Atlantic" tech site, the lack of inclusion is a coward's cop out. Jackson writes, that Google's decision to "keep the six-color rainbow, a symbol universally associated with gay pride ever since San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker created it 33 years ago, from appearing on the pages of those who are still opposed to gay rights. And keep Google from having to deal with any backlash."

But, others aren't so sure its Google's place to advocate Gay rights. Instinct Magazine defended Google saying the that doing anything is more than nothing. According to CNN, the magazine has said: "Google has led the tech industry in supporting our community, and the latest addition to its arsenal of inclusion is a welcome boost in the right direction."

But is anything enough? Gay rights is on the upswing as New York legislators currently mull over a proposed bill that would make the state the sixth and largest state to legalize gay marriage as soon as today. Obama himself, while not in full support of Gay marriage, has said his views are "evolving.".

While Google certainly hasn't done anything to hurt the community, and has even offered support with its own "It Gets Better" campaign video, the site might be caught on the wrong side of history on this one.

Gay, Lesbian Late Bloomers Blossom With Same-Sex Partners
By Steve Rothaus

When Vicki Brail divorced her husband of 20 years, the Kendall mother of two assumed her next partner would be male. Then she met psychotherapist Jeanne Covert.

“It was very strange to say the least. I started having this flirtatious relationship with her,” recalled Brail, now 65. “All my friends said this is very exciting. I used to see my friends for lunch and they would say it was like we were 16. I assumed this would be some midlife-crisis affair. We’ve been together since 1992.”

Brail’s story, along with many other older gays and lesbians, closely mirrors the film Beginners, which opens Friday in South Florida. Christopher Plummer stars as a 75-year-old father newly out of the closet, to the confusion of his grown son, played by Ewan McGregor.

Brail, who owns a geriatric and catastrophic-care management company, said she never was sexually attracted to women until meeting Covert, now 61.

At times, Brail found it difficult being involved with a woman.

“We had things to work out. It wasn’t a natural flow. Role models were very difficult,” Brail said. “Gender household responsibilities were very hard to work out. I had assumptions what women should do in the home and she had assumptions, and they were not the same. I never thought that straight women and gay women had such a diverse view of the world.”

Another issue when the women met: Brail had two pre-teens living with her, Dori, now 31, and Isaac, now 29.

“In the age that we came together, most lesbians did not have children,” Brail said.

The family eventually bonded. In 1999, Dori and Isaac convinced Brail and Covert to marry in a religious ceremony at their Reconstruction Jewish synagogue, Temple Beth Or, near Pinecrest.

“Our children pushed us because everyone else’s parents were married and they wanted their parents to be married,” Brail said. “And we had a big Jewish wedding with chuppahs.”

Retired Philadelphia pediatrician John Siegfried and partner Howard Apperman, now both living in Fort Lauderdale, have been together since 1991.

On Father’s Day 1977, Siegfried and his then-wife Sybil sat down with their three teenage children and told them the truth: Dad was gay.

“It was Father’s Day and Gay Pride Day,” Siegfried said. “They were aware that I had always supported minority causes. I told them, when we were having breakfast, that I was minority, too. My son David, trying to be a smart ass, said, ‘I know dad, you’d rather be down at Belmont [Plaza] at the gay pride parade.’ I said, ‘That’s exactly right. It’s what I’m trying to tell you.’ And then I told them that if I can’t be honest with you, how could I expect you to be honest with me? Immediately there was just total silence. Then my daughter began to get a little bit weepy-eyed. Each of the kids did. Sybil came over and we ended up with a group hug.”

Siegfried, 81, has written a memoir, Gray & Gay: A Journey of Self-acceptance ($20, Middle River Press), the profits of which will go to the Stonewall National Museum & Archive in Fort Lauderdale.

Siegfried’s coming out didn’t cause havoc with his offspring. It actually cleared up their confusion, said his daughter, Kathy Siegfried, 54, and a single mom living in Orlando.

“I remember it crystal clear. Always have. I expect my brothers do, too,” she said. “It was a day that things shifted. I actually had suspicions that my dad was gay, so it wasn’t startling by any means. It was confirmation.”

Kathy said her parents struggled in their marriage and now she knew why.

“Every few years, they’d go through this circle: They’d separate, they were going to get divorced, they were back in the marriage again.”

John Siegfried said Sybil knew he had same-sex attractions when they wed, but the couple both wanted a traditional, happily-ever-after romance.

“I suppressed my sexuality and occasionally had a one-night stand if I had a medical meeting. I was never active homosexually in my own community. I just couldn’t take that risk. It would have been suicide in your practice to say ‘I’m your gay pediatrician’.”

Throughout the marriage, Siegfried had occasional same-sex flings.

“There had been three episodes that rocked my marriage when I was emotionally involved with another man. My wife knew about it each time. I assumed she looked the other way for the same reasons I did. She wanted to maintain a family image as I did, and maintain her position in the community.”

Finally, after 35 years, the couple divorced. Sybil, who never remarried, died of pancreatic cancer five years ago.

In 1991, after attending a meeting of the GAMMA, the Gay Married Men’s Association, during a trip to Washington, D.C., Siegfried, then 61, went to a gay bar and met Apperman, then 40.

In May, the couple celebrated 20 years together.

Hank Brooks, 81, and Leo Glickstein, 89, of Coconut Creek have been a couple for about nine years. Both had unhappy marriages to women and have five grown children between them.

Brooks, now Broward chapter treasurer of SAGE, Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders, said being gay “was a terrible stigma in my day.”

He was 70 when he got a computer and started checking out gay chat rooms.

“Once I experienced sex with this guy I met online, there was no turning back. I‘ve been extremely happy.”

A year later, Brooks divorced his wife.

“I just left her a note and left. It was the only way I could get out of the house. She would have talked me out of it.”

Glickstein and his wife never divorced.

Brooks said Glickstein didn’t struggle the way he did.

“He slept with men before he got married, while he was married and after he was married,’’ Brooks said. “I just yearned all those years. Even during my honeymoon, I was looking at those guys in the pool.”

The couple met after Glickstein’s wife died.

“It was just after Leo had his 80th birthday,” Brooks said. “I didn’t believe him. The first night we were together there was no stopping him.”

First of its Kind LGBT Retirement Community Sees Enthusiastic Response; More Than 400 People Attend Opening Weekend Festivities at Fountaingrove Lodge

The 'Model Grand Opening' weekend at Fountaingrove Lodge was a tremendous success. This is one major step - truly history in the making - of the first retirement community with a continuum of care developed specifically for the Gay & Lesbian community.

Fountaingrove Lodge, the nation’s first retirement community with the option of continuing care for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) community, is in high demand with approximately 50% of units already reserved. Fountaingrove Lodge is located on ten acres in Sonoma County in the heart of California’s Wine Country, and observed its Model Grand Opening on June 18-19 with a well-attended Open House and ribbon-cutting and a first look of the model home. The community is set to open its doors in late 2012 or early 2013.

“In just the last few weeks we have received an incredibly enthusiastic response from the LGBT community,” says Bill Gallaher, co-founder and principal of Oakmont Senior Living (OSL). “Construction of the main building hasn’t begun and yet half of the units are already reserved, which truly illustrates the demand that exists for this type of community and the void that we are gladly able to fill.”

More than 400 people attended the Model Grand Opening weekend festivities at Fountaingrove to get a look at the bungalow model home on the site. The event garnered significant media attention, with guests and dignitaries admiring the high-quality workmanship and exquisite design of the model home. A proclamation from California State Senator Mark Leno added to the prestige of Thursday afternoon’s ribbon-cutting and VIP preview celebration.

Fountaingrove Lodge will be comprised of six bungalows and 64 well-appointed apartment homes in nine different floor plans – ranging from 830 to 2,001 square feet – designed in the Craftsman style of architecture, with the use of fine woodwork and stone inside and out that echo the native rocks and trees on the site.

The property will boast a library, business center, bank, salon and day spa, great hall for special events and dancing, library, gift shop, pet park, and bocce court, with wireless service in the main common areas. Residents can join friends for a glass of wine in the lounge, grab a snack in the bistro, or enjoy meals in the formal dining room. They can also throw a private party in the Wine Cave, rustle up a game of cards, watch a favorite film in the HD theatre, or get creative in the art studio. Fountaingrove Lodge is also adjacent to the spectacular championship Fountaingrove Golf Course.

The inclusive community will feature an on-site fitness center with a fully equipped weight room and an outdoor pool. In addition, gourmet meals, weekly housekeeping, concierge services, and home and yard maintenance will also be available.

“We anticipate that this project will become a hub for the broader North Bay LGBT community,” says OSL co-founder and principal Cindy Gallaher. “Our goal is to provide a beautiful, secure, social, and dynamic community for LGBT seniors, with the dignity and respect they deserve.”

Fountaingrove Lodge will also be a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC), providing peace of mind for a growing number of seniors who want to live independently now but would like to have health care service close at hand should the need arise. Health care services will be made available in the home, paid for on a fee-for-service basis as a resident may need it, and include state-of-the-art emergency call and response systems.

In addition, there will be an onsite care center which will provide memory care for residents with Alzheimer's / dementia. Options such as temporary home health care, follow up care during recuperation from short-term illness or injury, and full time private care are available.

The Fountaingrove Lodge Sales Office is located on-site at 4210 Thomas Lake Harris Drive in Santa Rosa, California. For more information about pricing, amenities, or to schedule a tour, call 707-576-1101 or go to www.fountaingrovelodge.com.

About Oakmont Senior Living
Oakmont Senior Living is a recognized leader in the retirement industry, having planned and developed more than 30 retirement communities in the western United States. Oakmont’s policy is to solicit input from each and every employee and to foster an atmosphere of mutual respect and a free exchange of ideas, with the goal of remaining a vibrant and thriving company. Oakmont is dedicated to listening to, understanding, and responding to the needs of seniors, and ready to undertake the groundbreaking project that is Fountaingrove Lodge.

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